Life is a journey of constant change. Every day, we wake up a little different than we were yesterday—our cells renew, our thoughts shift, and the world around us keeps moving. This can feel both exhilarating and overwhelming. How do we hold on to a sense of self when everything, including ourselves, is in flux?
As someone who’s spent years exploring identity and growth, this is a question I’ve wrestled with deeply. My fascination with personality psychology led me to study the works of Carl Jung, Alfred Adler, and other great thinkers. I was searching for a definitive answer to the question: Who am I?
The Search for Identity
For years, I sought to categorize myself, to find a box that would hold the essence of me. Personality types, like the MBTI and the Big Five, seemed like a compass that could anchor my sense of self. I wanted stability, clarity, and a framework that wouldn’t change.
But life had other plans.
No matter how much I tried to cling to one version of myself, I realized that I was always evolving. My beliefs, interests, and values shifted over time. The person I was at 20 was not the person I was at 30—and that’s okay.
Lessons from Politics and Psychology
Before diving into psychology, I worked in politics, an arena where authenticity often feels at odds with the role. Politicians are expected to be idealized representations of others, not fully human. I quickly learned that I wasn’t cut out for that.
Psychology taught me to accept my limits. I couldn’t be everything to everyone, nor could I force myself to fit into an image of perfection. The more I embraced my boundaries, the more I understood the importance of authenticity.
The Illusion of a Fixed Self
Many of us believe that by a certain age, we should have it all figured out—that we’ll stop changing and finally “arrive” at who we are. But that’s a myth. Change is inevitable, and resisting it only creates frustration.
We often forget who we once were, distancing ourselves from past versions that feel foreign or embarrassing. Yet, every phase of our lives contributes to the whole. Even the parts we’d rather forget taught us something valuable.
Embracing the Present Moment
So, how do we stay grounded in a world that’s constantly shifting?
- Focus on the Now: Life is a series of fleeting moments. Each one is an opportunity to fully experience, learn, and grow.
- Respect Your Past: Instead of rejecting who you were, honor it as part of your journey.
- Stay Open to Change: Growth happens incrementally, like a rock slowly tumbling down a mountain. It may feel imperceptible, but over time, the transformation is profound.
Forgiving Yourself for Changing
For a long time, I felt guilty about evolving. I worried that my audience, who connected with the “old Erik,” wouldn’t relate to who I’ve become. But I’ve come to see that growth is not betrayal—it’s a natural part of life.
The core of who I am—my curiosity, my love for psychology and philosophy, and my desire to connect—remains intact. Change doesn’t erase your essence; it enriches it.
Life Today
Over the past year, I’ve experienced many changes:
- I fell in love and moved in with my partner.
- I started a new role as a CRM Operations Manager, blending my technical, psychological, and creative skills.
- I’ve explored new creative outlets, like writing short stories and playing piano.
- I’ve delved into spiritual practices, like Taoism and Confucianism, and rekindled my love for fiction.
Through it all, I’ve learned to balance my strengths with my vulnerabilities, embracing the full complexity of who I am.
A Message to You
If you’ve ever felt lost, unsure, or overwhelmed by change, know that you’re not alone. Change is a gift—it’s what keeps life dynamic, fascinating, and full of possibility.
The key is to stay present, remain curious, and accept yourself as you are today. After all, who you are today is enough for today.
Let me know in the comments how you’ve navigated change in your life. Have you struggled with letting go of old versions of yourself? How have you found peace with who you’re becoming?
Thank you for reading, and I’ll see you in the next post.
Recommended Reading: The Courage to Be Disliked
Explore More: Personality Psychology, Growth Mindset, Self-Discovery
