INTP PERFECTIONISM & INTP NITPICKING. When falling in love, most of us are known to romanticise our partners and to only look at the good qualities in another person. We enter into a honeymoon stage where everything is pink clouds and where there are no storms in the horizon. This is rarely true for INTPs. The Introverted Thinking types have a habit of wanting to pick apart the things they love. But why do INTPs look for problems in good things?
Read more: INTP Relationships Indepth
INTP Nitpicking – The INTP Love Language
Troubleshooting, diagnostics and creative argumentation represent the INTPs primary styles in flow. The Introverted Thinkers enjoy playful criticism. It is only by picking something apart you can see the beauty in something. A common INTP stereotype is that INTPs want everything to be perfect. This is not true. INTP Perfectionism is a misconception because INTPs are not anxious or afraid of flaws or problems. In fact, INTPs love them.
Most INTPs enjoy finding flaws and seeing the problems and limitations. You like to learn exactly how your partner works, and the full extent of their abilities. You want to know their pro’s and con’s just like you want to know the difference between two cell phones before you make a purchase.
While it may feel endearing to be picked apart by an INTP, you have nothing to fear, your INTP is not looking for a reason to dump you, and they’re not trying to air your dirty laundry. They just want to know things about you. By hanging out with an INTP it should be absolutely clear that INTPs do not judge people on their silly mannerisms and quirks.
Healthy INTPs are known to be proudly eccentric. INTPs can be clumsy, lazy, and full of issues, and they have no issue talking about or even laughing about this in public. INTP Nitpicking is normal – you could even say it’s one of their love languages. They’ll laugh about your flaws and problems but they will also feel more warm as they think about you.
You’re the one I hate the least
It is said that in Finland, people will not say “I love you.” Instead, they’ll say “You are the one I hate the least.” There’s something oddly warm and comforting about this phrase. You’ve chosen someone despite their flaws or perhaps even because of them. There’s something tolerable about the small annoying things the other person does. You may even find it charming.
As an INTP, you are not looking for the perfect someone. You’re looking for – and love – a good work in progress. That means someone who will listen to and value your feedback. Many INTPs find that they need to guard their words in relationships – that they’re not allowed to share advice and ideas with their partner because it makes the other person uncomfortable. This can make an INTP bitter, as they feel that the other person does not listen – does not care about what they think.
In an ideal situation, INTP nitpicking is and can feel truly reassuring. Here is someone who knows everything about me, but who still chooses me. This is a person who has considered every available option and yet settled for me. We live in an imperfect world and everything is constantly under development. INTP Perfectionism is a misconception, because INTPs are not perfectionists, they are just passionate about making things better, bit by bit.
