It’s impressive when you’re able to tame the wildness and chaos inside. But it’s not impressive if you lose it. It’s cool when a wolf chooses not to bite, but it’s not that impressive when a dog does. I’m happy that people don’t kill each often as much as they used to, but sad that we’ve lost the edges of our teeth. The aggressive impulse inside us holds the power to create and set things in motion. Without it, things still. Are you domesticated, or are you depressed? Are you wild – but in control of your wildness, or did you lose your wildness somewhere on the way?

The Human Self-Domestication Project & How We Lost Our Wild Side

There’s a great movement in the world to control our children and shape them to be what we want them to be. Companies spend billions on ads to control and regulate our emotions, teachers, and schools are formed to ensure that kids stop moving, stop living, and stop acting aggressively, and children are encouraged to always be safe, to never take risks, and to always do what they are told. We do this, despite evidence of the benefits of the contrary. It’s shown that kids that have more willpower, who say no, and who express their feelings more, are far more successful later in life. And it’s no wonder.

Kids who learn to follow orders do what they are told, and sit still, are less likely to question bad advice, set healthy boundaries, and express their own needs and opinions. They’re more likely to quit or give up if they don’t succeed immediately, and more likely to get upset or discouraged if there’s even slight resistance. Even if their idea was good. If you domesticate your kids too much, you’ll soon find that they’ll never become mature adults.

“It takes chaos to give birth to a dancing star. You still have chaos inside.”

Nietzsche

I’m not encouraging us to throw our kids out in the woods and see who can survive. I think there are benefits to everyone learning self-control, and how to regulate and manage strong emotions, but I think there’s something to be said about the capacity to have passion, strong emotions, and critical thinking. People who have the capacity for aggression, passion, and wildness, but choose not to use it, or choose to use this drive in an effective and controlled manner, are far more impressive than those who let go of and don’t allow themselves to have their emotions in the first place.

So how do you get back in touch with your inner wild? Here are some tips:

1. Remind yourself of your power and passion. You have the ability to be super-empowered, so don’t limit yourself by what society says is permissible. Find ways to express both sides – the chaotic and the controlled – within you.

2. Get out of your comfort zone as much as possible and create chaos that will help you learn and grow. Take risks, challenge yourself, explore new experiences. Don’t let fear control you.

3. Tap into nature’s energy and let it become part of your life force again! Spend time outdoors, go for a run, or swim in a lake – anything that helps you reconnect with the untamed natural world still within you.

4. Let yourself feel angry or frustrated when it’s necessary and don’t be afraid to express those feelings – they’re part of your inner wildness too. And if you can harness and learn to channel those emotions into productive and positive ventures, you can achieve way more than if you just suppress them.

5. Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty, say the wrong thing, or offend someone. But be ready to apologize when you do, and make sure that you can look at yourself in the mirror when you go to bed at night.

It’s about choosing for an interesting life, not a dull one. Finding flow isn’t possible unless you accept that you are a human being full of fire and passion and potential and if you fear that fire, you fear to flow, you fear energy, movement, passion, and emotion.

Re-igniting your inner wild is like giving yourself permission to go back in time and allow those parts of you that were deemed too dangerous or unacceptable to be free. It’s about understanding our needs for exploration, adventure, risk-taking, and pushing boundaries – and then learning how to express these aspects of ourselves in healthful ways.